While the Cat’s Gone (or, Cat Gets Poisoned By Antibiotics)



Claire and I have several engagements occupying us at the moment. And although we have some lotta awesome plans for the blog, we just can’t get to them often, or at the same time. This is why I’m going it alone for a round and writing a little myself. Claire can fill spaces in later!

The Cure – The Lovecats

I don’t know if Claire wants to say anymore about the whole prescription industry, but I actually have a little rant of my own to spill. The current state of medicine is a legacy of the industrial revolution and some freaky chemical Frankensteinesqueties that the industry sired forth. And our current medical insurance system is a remnant of the Roosevelt-era social programs, which made for a great social jump start during the second World War, when people’s attitudes were all ration, recycle, &c.—basically, when people behaved rationally and shit—but the times have changed, so everything is different from fifty years ago. The system doesn’t hardly take care of anyone properly, and the top 2% make all the money out of the GD GDP. There’s room for me to expand, but I’ll stay specialized on medicine.

That stuff is not healthy for you. And before we get into it, NO, I’m not against medicine or medicating or seeking treatment for conditions. Yes, there are some amazing drugs out there, yet, almost all with some risk of extremely nasty side effects under the wrong circumstances. Now, one of the most useful and important medicines discovered in the last century, penicillin, was mold grown on bread. Case, point: we don’t need that over-the-counter shit. Homeopathic medicine is where it’s at; plants, fungi, and natural medicine will save us, if we don’t make extinct, deplete their genetics, or infect them all. According to Wikipedia,

Most pharmaceuticals are deposited in the environment through human consumption and excretion, and are often filtered ineffectively by wastewater treatment plants which are not designed to manage them. Once in the water they can have diverse, subtle effects on organisms, although research is limited […] In 2009 an investigative report by Associated Press concluded that U.S. manufacturers had legally released 271 million pounds of drugs into the environment, 92% of which was the antiseptics phenol [embalming fluid/bleach!] and hydrogen peroxide. It could not distinguish between drugs released by manufacturers as opposed to the pharmaceutical industry. It also found that an estimated 250 million pounds of pharmaceuticals and contaminated packaging were discarded by hospitals and long-term care facilities.

Uhm, did you understand this the way I do? We make and sell LITERALLY BILLIONS of pills that people’s bodies can’t even absorb to advantage and poop chemicals right into the storm drain, and throw away millions of pounds of them, undigested, in no way neutralized. Right? How big a factor is the placebo effect, really?


Fuck yeah I want to stay on the prescription industry! Because it’s perfect, actually, I read an article on NPR (while drinking fair trade coffee and simultaneously riding my fixie, gahhhh I’m so trendy) the week after we posted our most recent rant, an article that spoke to my heart, soul, and unshakeable desire to NOT to whatever the Government tells me to (which Government, you ask? YOURS). Titled, “Birth Control Without Copays Could Become Mandatory,” of course my first instinct was to spiral off into a post-apocalyptic fantasy featuring robots injecting high doses of sterilizing birth control hormones directly into women’s blood streams through their eyeballs (the most accessible of veins, duh) as they are passed down an assembly line of industrialized monotony. This is what I think about as I fall asleep. However, due to my lack of reading comprehension, which I blame entirely on a corrupt education system which does nothing but train us to bullshit our way through standardized tests (how well can you fill in a bubble? Durrrrr…but that’s a tangent for another day. Right?), I apparently misunderstood the main concept of the above mentioned article. I still find its report, though, highly disturbing in a slightly less dramatic respect:

The latest battle is set to come to a head Wednesday, when the independent Institute of Medicine is expected to make recommendations about preventive health care services for women. And one service that’s drawing a lot of the attentions is contraception.

Depending on the group’s recommendation, [oral] contraception could become part of a package of preventive benefits that every health plan would have to cover without patient cost-sharing. In other words, it would become effectively free.

OH THAT’S NICE, DA GOVERNMENT! What I’m hearing here is, Hey look guys, we’re such a nice, caring government, we’re trying to make it totally free now, SO THERE’S NO REASON TO NOT FUCKING TAKE IT. TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT.


Completely disregarding the good this could do for low-income families and those without access to condoms and shit (because my rants are always one sided and completely biased), this is creepy. I’m sure if one were to do some not-so-deep digging, some sketchy ties between the Institute of Medicine and all those wonderful privatized insurance companies (fucking Anthem Blue Cross…I’ll show you what happens when you make me pay fucking twenty-six dollars for a bottle of Prozac) could DEFINITELY be drawn. Hmmmm…


I made myself break there so Claire can bust in. I hope she writes about something completely unrelated.


Touché, my friend. I am so relevant in every way.


For bearing with Claire and I while we get righteous, I’ve got two of the freshest jams which will make all your troubles vanish for 7:11. Yes.

Southern Shores – Take Me Anywhere

Southern Shores – Grande Comore

And here’s a natural antibiotic that won’t burn your pretty eyes right out yr head: mix up chopped apple, honey & cloves. Eat once daily to fight infections.


Or replace the honey with agave syrup and stop killing bees, you prick. Seriously, they’re going extinct. It’s called Colony Collapse Disorder, and as usual, I’m not going to cite any sources to back up the statement that honeybees pollinate one third of our food supply, but Wikipedia’s always a couple clicks away.

No, I’m not giving you a link. Lazy fuck.


Sorry to contradict your royal veganess, but agave syrup does not have the antibacterial qualities honey does. The Egyptians even used honey as an antibiotic. Also, farmed  populations of bees aren’t the ones experiencing Colony Collapse; it’s bees in the wild that take the pollen from plants that have drunk up water that we poisoned with pharmaceuticals.

Without taking too much more of your time about about it, the current state of health insurance is practically medieval. I mean, it’s feudalism alive and well. Think about it.

I’m convinced people can stay healthy if they eat balanced diets, go outside, and engage in activities. The nation’s just too indolent, too fat, and underinspired. I sit at my computer instead of going on bike rides. My cousin tans and munches on chips instead of gardening. Kids thumb Gameboys instead of volunteering at their community center. Where is the community center, by the way? It’s, like, the mall, ennit?


Community and communism share the same Latin root: communis, meaning common/shared. Hey, if I share my Gameboy, that means, like, I can’t use it 24/7! You communists may know a little about equality in social order, but DAMN are you missing out on all the fun.


Speaking of utopias/dystopias, here’s a jam I enjoyed right off the bat. I’m not for sure, but pretty sure, I snagged it from Pigeons and Planes. This dude has an album coming soon, and I believe I’ll keep my eyes and ears open for news of that.

Sweatshop Union – Makeshift Kingdom


And here’s a fun fact that doesn’t have anything to do with the dialogue either above, or below, this paragraph-ette. The diameter of a blue whale’s veins are so large that a human baby could crawl right on through them. Citation? You’ve got to be joking. Actually, no, here’s my work cited:

Eiden, Joncannon (my friend that I stole that fact from). Random Knowledge Shared at the Kitchen Table. San Diego, California, United States of Assholes (Esquire). Like two or three months ago, yeah. 2011. Suck it.


Beautiful use of MLA format, Claire (unfortunately, this editor doesn’t have a way to create a hanging indent. We tried). Our capitalist education machine has trained you well. Well, by this time, us sisters are reunited and must away, because we’re going to work together. But we’ll be back before long with more jams and conspiracy theories with fancy quotations for you to digest with us. I hope today has been educational and enjoyable for all, and in the unfortunate scenario that you’re a complete dick and didn’t enjoy any of the above, I want to leave our readers a stream of Portugal. The Man’s latest offering, In the Mountain In the Clouds. Paste Magazine has a device that’ll let you listen to the full album, till you can get your hands on an actual copy. It’s sooooooo superb.


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